I have four sons and six grandsons; most of my clients are men. So I have a ringside seat, so to speak, to see what men are being taught to be by today’s society. They’ve been overwhelmed, since 2016, by the example of Donald Trump and his sons, the most brazen, corrupt robbers the country has ever known. And lately they must have noticed the toxic example of Pete Hegseth, the former Fox news analyst who is now Secretary of Defense, who said in March:

We unleash overwhelming and punishing violence on the enemy. We also don’t fight with stupid rules of engagement. We untie the hands of our warfighters to intimidate, demoralize, hunt, and kill the enemies of our country. No more politically correct and overbearing rules of engagement.

Imagine your sons applying that immorality to their daily relationships! Just imagine being a member of Congress who had to deal with the defensiveness of the Sec. of Defense last week at the hearings about the Iran War. I think he answered a few questions with respect but in response to the ones he did not like he went straight to DARVO and puffed out his bullying chest [SNL].  Drunk with power.

The quest for power

The present drift of male mental health and spirituality focuses on power. You can see it in the huge adoption of first-person shooter video games. It is hard to think that anything has developed young male attitudes more than games like these:

• Counter-Strike 2  (2023):  A “competitive, tactical shooter game with precise gunplay” game from Valve Corporation, founded in 1996. Valve also operates Steam, the world’s largest PC digital distribution platform. In 2025 the game generated $2 billion in revenue.
• Apex Legends (2019): A “fast-paced, hero-based battle royale with unique movement mechanics.” It made over $3 billion for Electronic Arts from 2023-5.
• Doom Eternal (2020): A “high-octane, fast-paced ‘boomer shooter'” game “focusing on aggressive combat.” It made $450 million for id in its first nine months of release. It is difficult to estimate the billions in revenue the Doom franchise has produced since 1993.
• Delta Force (2025): A “modern, large-scale military shooter” game from Team Jade. In Q4 2025 revenue exceeded $138 million and reached $7 million in a single day on April 17, 2026.

There are many more FPS games on the market, occupying the imagination and time of young men.

Last summer, at the Drone Innovation Cell in Vilseck near the Hohenfels, Germany Training Area, Capt. Ronan Sefton, an intelligence officer in the Army’s 2nd Cavalry Regiment, explained to Business Insider that piloting drones effectively and playing video games were correlated. “The people who are learning the fastest, able to fly the most controlled, fly the fastest, and very accurately” are gamers.

Naturally, the White House released a video that characterized the “Epic Fury” assault on Iran as a video game [link].

The first six days of Epic Fury cost the U.S. 11.3 billion dollars! Professor Linda Bilmes, a public policy expert at the Harvard Kennedy School, expects the cost to reach a trillion. She identified several reasons why this military operation could have catastrophic consequences for the U.S. national debt well into the future.

She estimates the short-term, upfront costs as totaling around $2 billion per day during the 40 days of live conflict. This includes the price of munitions, troops, and damage to military assets — such as the shooting down of three F-15 fighter jets due to friendly fire from Kuwait. Sorry to be crass, but it was a giant, masturbatory power orgasm. It is power porn in action.

The resurgent power model for masculinity has a virtual home in podcasts, games and porn now tagged as the “manosphere.” Our grandson told us about the Netflix documentary exploring it.

Our men are surrounded by these examples. And they are bullied by them. What will become of our sons? We live in a world of rapid technological change and shifting social norms. We all feel confused, if not dissociated or depressed! Many men find themselves adrift—uncertain of their role, their purpose, or what healthy masculinity even looks like. The traditional models of manhood often seem outdated or problematic, yet the alternatives can feel vague or unattainable or untrustworthy.

Positive male development

I was thinking about producing a men’s retreat based on much of the good material I have used in the past. But I wondered if there would even be an audience of anyone under fifty for working on what it means to be a healthy man. I honestly wondered if would-be participants might feel they could get into trouble with women for centering themselves or in trouble with bullies for being soft if they ventured out.

That’s too bad, because the ancient wisdom about archetypical patterns of human behavior and psychology provides a framework for understanding and expressing masculinity in ways that are both transformative and balanced. [The Enneagram is a form of the thinking that tries to apply archetypal wisdom regardless of male or female].

The famous book about male mental health and spirituality feels dated these days, but when it first arrived in the 90’s, alongside the FPS video games, it already seemed ancient, because it is.  Psychologists Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette put it together in King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering Masculinity Through the Lens of Archetypal Psychology – A Journey into the Male Psyche and Its Four Essential Aspects

Women have archetypal energies, too, of course Queen, huntress, sage, mother, etc. But it is all one Spirit, Paul says. Men have to deal with their expressions, some innate, some socialized in their own ways.

Categorizing ourselves and adopting strict definitions won’t help us develop healthy, adult consciousness. All Jungian archetype work, deals in metaphor, and delves into unconscious forces and universal connections more than scientific categories. But as difficult or mysterious as it may seem, it is important to stay aware of these energies because they are being perverted and broken by the men in charge as we speak. [Andrew Tate teaching]

Beyond Stereotypes

The Jungian archetypes transcend limiting stereotypes about masculinity. They offer a vision of manhood that includes strength and tenderness, action and reflection, independence and connection.

When men understand the main archetypes calling and moving them, they no longer feel forced into a single expression of masculinity. They can draw on different energies for different situations—embodying Warrior focus when completing a challenging task, King leadership when making family decisions, Lover presence when connecting with loved ones, and Sage discernment when facing difficult or transcendent choices.

If you were at any of the “No Kings” marches this year, you probably saw signs that rebelled  the unhealthy expressions of male archetypes. Each one can manifest in unhealthy ways when overdeveloped or underdeveloped:

• The King becomes either a tyrant (overdeveloped) or a weakling (underdeveloped).
• The Warrior becomes either a sadist or a masochist.
• The Lover becomes either an addict or impotent.
• The Sage becomes either a detached intellectual or a fool.

Understanding these imbalances helps men recognize patterns in their own behavior and make conscious choices toward healthier expression.

 Practical Applications

How do these ancient concepts apply to daily life? Consider these general examples:

• Parenting: A father draws on King energy when setting consistent boundaries, Warrior energy when protecting his children from harm, Lover energy when showing affection and encouragement, and Sage energy when teaching life lessons.
• Workplace: A colleague uses King energy to organize a project, Warrior energy to overcome obstacles, Lover energy to collaborate effectively with others, and Sage energy to reflect on and learn from mistakes.
• Relationships: A partner embodies King energy by taking responsibility, Warrior energy by committing fully, Lover energy by expressing care and appreciation, and Sage energy by listening deeply.
• Personal Development: A man develops King energy through leadership roles, Warrior energy through discipline and physical challenges, Lover energy through creative pursuits, and Sage energy through study and reflection.

The archetypes are not the sum of all knowledge, of course. But I have been surprised to know many people who don’t have an inner map of any kind to follow. These basic pathways help us develop as they give us ways to think and feel about ourselves and our behavior.

The archetypes are not the last word on gender identity, either. Transgender and non-binary thinkers also deal with them in positive ways, though, on the face of it, the uninitiated might see them are the epitome of binary. This discussion on Reddit might get you started [link].

The goal isn’t to perfect each archetype separately, but to integrate them into a cohesive whole. This integration is a lifelong journey, not a destination.

Many American men are socialized to be tough all the time, even if they know they are not—that is their version of the Warrior. When they understand they can be a Warrior and a Lover, a King and a Sage, they feel more complete and happier. By reconnecting with these timeless patterns, men don’t find a rigid prescription for behavior, but a flexible framework that allows for authentic expression of their full humanity.

In a world that often seems to have lost its bearings around masculinity, these ancient archetypes provide a map—not dictating a single path, but offering landmarks to navigate by as each man finds his own way forward. For the sake of my family, I pray they find a way into their lives before the oligarchs’ disciples poison our souls completely.