Category Archives: Life as the church

Being outside of God: Thoughts on being in

April 6, 2026A life in the Spirit, Doing Theology, Film/TV, Psychological growth, Spiritual directionautonomy, DaVinci, measurement, obedience, outside, performance, permission, Pete Hegseth, promises, self-control, The Good Place, The Pitt, Vitruvian ManRod White

I attended a psychology conference recently with a large contingent of Evangelicals among the presenters and participants. All day long, as people explored the meaning of faith, there was an intrusive theme I kept hearing, “I am on the outside getting in.” God may be welcoming us in. Or we may be struggling to get in. But the existential reality with which most seemed to agree is that we are all on the outs with God.

I felt outside of their “outsideness.” My “other” existential reality never dawned on me so acutely. I have not stopped thinking about it ever since. I really do feel I am in with God, in Christ, right now. Undeservedly but absolutely inside.

All weekend long I kept taking issue, in my own thoughts, at least, with the extreme sense of autonomy some people were stuck with. It is a dilemma. For psychologists, autonomy is a fundamental truth to be protected. For Christians, it is a good thing but not THE thing.

Autonomy

You can get a definition of “autonomy” by watching The Pitt. The doctors on that TV show are protecting it all the time; it is a main element of their ethics. They painstakingly hold back their opinions and even advice so the patient can exercise their freedom to choose. On one episode the ER gave a dying woman a long time in a scarce bed to make up her mind about how she was going to die.

As a result of all this painstaking, the doctors end up very much like God, I suppose, letting us unfold without bossing us around. Of course, the opposite is true, too. The doctors are often portrayed as having no choice at all, constrained by science, protocol, profits and time. They are constantly complaining about being trapped by the needs of the emergency room, enslaved to their paperwork, and subject to their foibles and their relationships. They seem to feel they have no autonomy at all.

The definition of autonomy is, simply, the capacity to think your own thoughts and take action on them, not be dominated by someone else and enslaved to their will. We’re all committed to it, all feel we don’t have enough, and all feel subject to something or someone that thwarts it all day.

As a psychotherapist, much of my work is to help people exercise their autonomy to think and feel as they desire and make new choices accordingly. Mostly, my clients want to be free of what ties them up so they can love and be loved, and so they can contribute to society and receive from others.

The Evangelical clients tend to have a further dilemma, because they believe if they think anything but God’s thoughts it is a sin, and if they feel their feelings (most of which are immoral or prone to be), it is likely a sin. They seem to be determined to take orders from Jesus the King, which releases them from the need to listen to themselves and change. It is a theological nightmare. They are strangely condemned to be in charge of their future, very autonomous and alone, but they are totally subject to someone else’s will, which is quite beyond their ability to accomplish but which is a life and death matter to accomplish, nonetheless.

For instance, the last verse of the version of O Sacred Head Sore Wounded we sang on Good Friday had this final verse:

My days are few, O fail not, with thine eternal power,
to hold me that I quail not in death’s most fearful hour;
that I may fight befriended, and see in my last strife
to me thine arms extended upon the cross of life.

Did I hear the theology right? This seems to be the gist of it: “I need God’s power to hold me (I pictured a tractor beam) because I am on the other side of death; I’m outside of the place Jesus lives. I have to fight to stay on my quest to be inside, where Jesus, one day, will greet me with open arms.

My friend protested on Facebook on Good Friday: God doesn’t love us because Jesus died. Jesus died because God loves us. Even though this is common New Testament, many of the Christians at my conference were still working out a transaction. Jesus died for me, so I have to die for him to seal the deal and get into eternity. Jesus died for me so I could gain the power to do my assignment and so be good enough to get into heaven.

To sum it up: Evangelical Christians often feel “outside” God’s presence due to a performance-based spirituality that equates grace with legalistic obedience rather than a free gift. This mentality stems from a “sin-fixation,” whereby believers constantly scrutinize their actions to measure their spiritual standing. This approach often leads to a cycle of shame, where failing to meet high behavioral standards feels like losing God’s favor, creating a perpetual need to get back in.

Let’s unpack the elements of that a bit.

Performance

A twenty-something friend told me she could not attend Jr. High summer camp as child because she had not yet spoken in tongues. She faked it. I still marvel at this. How could someone make the ecstatic experience of tongues, totally uncontrollable by definition, into a criteria for getting into camp? I understand the delight of having the Holy Spirit “come upon me.” And I think tongues were, in the Bible and continue to be, a sign of God’s presence. But make the experience a general rubric for goodness or acceptance? Teach the junior highers the need to perform the trappings of faith well? 1 Corinthians is an argument against people who would do such a thing. But if we are all outside, we will likely invent a criteria for getting in — and, unfortunately, for keeping people out.

Measurement

Many evangelicals define their standing with God by how well they obey set rules—such as church attendance, tithing, and avoiding specific sins. When they “stumble,” they feel as though they have fallen out of grace, confusing sanctification (the process of becoming like Christ) with justification (being declared righteous). People measure their sanctification to prove their justification as if they were in charge of their salvation!

I went to a conference session by a Christian Psychologist (who I love) and he was using research models to measure love, since why should God be outside the religion science has made for itself? It was a nice attempt to put measurement back where it belongs.

Self-control

An intense focus on personal sins can lead to “creeping legalism,” where believers spend more time obsessing over controlling sin than experiencing the freedom of grace. This “sin-fixation” results in a constant need to apologize for being human, leading to a feeling of being “outside.” It often results in the need to control oneself, others and the world which never goes well.

Self-control is one of the fruit of the spirit. There is a long history of people using the word to keep themselves undefiled, especially by sexual impurity – because they want to get in. But a more accurate meaning of the fruit is: the healthy empowerment one feels when they experience autonomy, the gift of being one’s true self. In Greek philosophy, self-mastery was basically the best one could do, it was the best to which one could aspire in a cosmos full of impersonal, often irrational gods. But Christians live in a world given by a Creator who loves them and leads them, day by day. Self-control is the calm capacity to give as grace has been given to each of us.

Permission

Some evangelical teachings can create a mindset where grace is viewed as permission to sin, but simultaneously, “unmerited favor” feels fragile and easily lost. People are in a balancing act between feeling good about where they are and waiting for the other sin shoe to drop. This dichotomy leads to anxiety about one’s standing with God. The idea is, “Once I’ve given in to sin I am tainted.” This leads some people to fake being in, even when they feel tainted. It leads others into self-exile, since they know they will never be fully in.

One serious teen I knew became a Christian and showed up exhausted to talk to me one day. When I asked him why he looked so tired, he finally revealed. “I have to stay awake because I have a lot of sins to confess. I especially don’t want the sun to go down on my anger.” He really loved the idea of not getting away with anything, but he could not permit God be in charge of the forgiving. He was perpetually in charge of making the right choice to get permission to come in.

Promises

The gap between the promise of a transformed life and the reality of human brokenness creates a sense of disillusionment. The idea is, “If all the promises are not being fulfilled in me, I must be out.” Validating their own authenticity according to God’s performance can make it difficult for believers to accept they are already “inside” God’s grace. Especially when we are sick in body or mind, we assess our well-being according to what we think ought to be true. For many believers, any sin or suffering mars their perfection in Christ.

Assessing ourselves according to how well the promises of God are realized in our life is a recipe for being perpetually out of the exquisite feeling of swimming in the ocean of grace into which we were launched at birth. If the test tube truths the religion of science teaches dominate us (which are often disappointing in their own limited universe), God is regularly disappointing and we are usually disappointed or disappointing, depending on how we respond. We can end up loaded with a false guilt about how bad I must be for God not to fulfill in me what he fulfills in others!

Obedience

Dallas Willard explains how many Christians mistakenly see Christ’s teachings as laws to obey to gain grace, rather than as reflections of the life that comes to them through the new birth. This fundamental misunderstanding keeps believers striving to “get in” to a kingdom they are already part of.

This misunderstanding is so universally assumed that the TV show The Good Place could have it as a central premise. Kristen Bell does not believe she should be in the (what comes to be revealed as an ersatz) “good place” because she is selfish. It seems almost everyone is convinced that salvation requires being good enough to deserve it and obedience to arbitrary rules is key to achieving it.

In Christ

I guess I should not blame the Evangelicals for falling into heresy, since it seems like from the Middle Ages onward, Europe was a long road to re-centering humans. Christianity was reduced to a penance system long before they got there.

DaVinci’s Vitruvian Man put’s the idea of the dangerous kind of autonomy into a picture. The circle represents divine or spiritual perfection (cosmos), while the square represents the material, earthly world. By bridging both, the figure highlights the human body as a microcosm of the universe. Humans are central, especially men.

According to DaVinci’s chart, I am autonomous. I am innately free to choose. In relation to God, I am exiled or welcomed in. I relation to others I can make relationships or end them.

But how did I get out of relationship if I were never in? From the beginning to the end of the Bible (the Evangelicals purportedly love), our sense of being out is a matter of being removed from where we were. Being in with God is our natural human state.

Paul is always referring to being “in Christ.” The phrase is a spatial metaphor which signifies the believer’s renewed sense of being safe at home as opposed to their previous uncertainty before faith and baptism. Being our true selves in Christ or our false self in our autonomy is Paul’s version of being in our out. The way Paul sees it, Jesus was at the creation of the world and we all bear his image. And according to Jesus, we are all are touched and called into abundance by God’s love. We are all in the love of God whether we think we can choose that or not. God sees us according to who we are in Christ. We have the freedom to turn away. But that is not natural or inevitable.

Being outside where nothing but the power to do “righteousness” proves our worth and where our successes give God the glory he craves results in the psychopathic Pete Hegseth and the infamous prayer he prayed at a meeting last week:

“Almighty God, who trains our hands for war and our fingers for battle, you who stirred the nations from the north against Babylon of old, making her land a desolation where none dwell, behold now the wicked who rise against your justice and the peace of the righteous.”

I think it takes little convincing to admit “the peace of the righteous,” as Hegseth describes, has nothing to do with Jesus and nothing to do with peace. The U.S. has NOT been at war, undeclared or declared, for about 15-20 years since 1776. If you can’t get into heaven, you make yourself a god on the earth, right? At least that is what a lot of people who would like to follow Jesus are struggling with in the United States.

Ozzy Osborne brings it to the War Pigs: The prophecy lives on

March 30, 2026A life in the Spirit, Doing Theology, Music, The MissionAmos, Black Sabbath, Grammys, Jean Fouquet, Ozzy Osborne, Pilate, prophecy, war pigsRod White

During the Grammy memorial for notable members of the music industry lost in 2025, a group of all-stars paid tribute to Ozzy Osborne, maybe the most notable of them all. The song they chose to play is notable, too: War Pigs.

A long-gone YouTube creator connected a video to War Pigs that is the most-viewed version of the song, now at 108 million since 2014! — that’s the year Russia seized Crimea and “insurgents” blew up buildings in Donbass, the Taliban insurgency continued, and the Syrian civil war raged — the fingers of the U.S. and Russia in all of them. I think her video is quite moving [link].

The film the YouTuber repurposed is a 2009 work from a German film school named Motherland — it shows what music can do to bring your film to life. The original soundtrack is kind of limp [link]. She did not bother crediting the filmmaker when she substituted War Pigs, but likely received the income from the 30 million more views it got lately. But I’m not sure how YouTube works.

The other day, my grandson, the rock and roll drummer student, was part of the Black Sabbath tribute at his concert. They played War Pigs. I admit, Christian that I am, “black sabbath” has never been my favorite name for a band. But I can forgive them for trying to distinguish themselves with the name in 1969. If you want to see the originals play their hit, here they are in 1970.

At the concert, I was predisposed to grinning and bearing the song. But the lead student singer was actually rather good and I caught wind of the words into which I had never tuned.

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses
Evil minds that plot destruction
Sorcerers of death’s construction

In the fields the bodies burning
As the war machine keeps turning
Death and hatred to mankind
Poisoning their brainwashed minds
Oh Lord! Yeah!

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to the poor

Time will tell on their power minds
Making war just for fun
Treating people just like pawns in chess
Wait ’til their judgment day comes
Yeah!

Now in darkness world stops turning
Ashes where the bodies burning
No more war pigs at the power
Hand of God has struck the hour

Wow! Just like Amos!

Day of judgment, God is calling
On their knees the war pigs crawling
Begging mercy for their sins
Satan laughing spreads his wings
Oh Lord! Yeah!

Oh Lord! Yeah! The rock students reminded me of the Old Testament prophet, Amos, laying out the war pigs that surrounded the northern and southern kingdoms of Israel. And he did not spare the homeland either! Amos’ list is a recitation of what the war pigs have always done. And it is what they are doing right now, only now with the most destructive weapons ever, directed by A.I.!

they have threshed Gilead
with threshing sledges of iron. (1:2 – Israel in Lebanon)
they carried into exile entire communities (1:6 – ICE)
he (Edom) pursued his brother with the sword
and cast off all pity;
he maintained his anger perpetually
and kept his wrath forever. (1:11 – sounds like all sides in Iran)
they have ripped open pregnant women in Gilead
in order to enlarge their territory. (1:13 – Russia in Ukraine)
he (Moab) burned to lime
the bones of the king of Edom. (2:1 – U.S. and Israel kill Iran’s leaders)
they (Judah) have rejected the instruction of the Lord
and have not kept his statutes,
they have been led astray by the same lies
after which their ancestors walked. (2:4 – all, especially the U.S.)
they (Israel) sell the righteous for silver
and the needy for a pair of sandals—
they who trample the head of the poor into the dust of the earth
and push the afflicted out of the way (2:6-7 – the 1% and minions)
you (Israel) made the nazirites drink wine
and commanded the prophets,
saying, “You shall not prophesy.” (2:12 – look in the mirror)

I am not blaming the wars of humankind on you with that last parenthesis, but I know I have colluded with people who want to still the voices of prophets. I didn’t even listen to Black Sabbath until 2026!

We should all be out on the streets shouting with Amos and Ozzy Osbourn every chance we get. But let’s be honest; when the news channels treat a No Kings Day like it is just a brief traffic tie up or a long line at the airport and we put up with that, we’ve already colluded with the war pigs by fitting our prophecy into the oligarchs’ business plan. When we politely argue about the Iran debacle on Facebook like there are two sides to a war pig, we are just acclimating to the same old slavery.

Jesus before Pilate — Jean Fouquet, 1470

Jesus is prophecy in action

What does Jesus say to a war pig? We have scant evidence because he spent most of his time with marginalized people (take note, Empire-trained American Christians!). But my favorite example is when he has a moment with Pilate — the Roman representing the biggest herd at the trough in the Lord’s time, who is apparently slightly nervous about his imminent murder of the Son of God.

Then Pilate entered the headquarters again, summoned Jesus, and asked him, “Are you the King of the Jews?” Jesus answered, “Do you ask this on your own, or did others tell you about me?” Pilate replied, “I am not a Jew, am I? Your own nation and the chief priests have handed you over to me. What have you done?” Jesus answered, “My kingdom does not belong to this world. If my kingdom belonged to this world, my followers would be fighting to keep me from being handed over to the Jews. But as it is, my kingdom is not from here.” — John 18:33-36

He’s saying, “It is the people I came to save who keep fighting for the kingdoms of this world.” Oh Lord. Yeah! Thank you Jesus! Your kingdom is not from here!

In a few days after talking to Pilate, Jesus rises from the dead (April 5 this year, if you’re just getting to know him). By the end of the New Testament John has his amazing vision and there is Jesus, the wounded lamb, sitting on the throne! There is a prophecy for you!

Let’s keep talking, doing our art and marching. Even if we feel like lonely Amos (even when we’re in step with millions, around the world), let’s force ourselves to keep telling the truth about the war pigs. They are eating people alive! Don’t just do what you can do because justice should be done. Do it because we want God’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven, an endless will to bring life from death and love to hate.

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Today is Joachim of Fiore Day! Speaking of prophets! This one is more influential than you know. Visit him at The Transhistorical Body.

Inner health prevents the death of resistance: Four goals for the persistent

March 23, 2026A life in the Spirit, Psychological growth, Spiritual direction, The Missionchange, Daniel Hunter, distrust, grief, inner health, overwhelm, release, resistance, Trump, trustRod White

Last week, I suggested to several clients that their anxiety and short-tempered reactions were partly about living under the “Trump Cloud.” We are all there.

I, for one, am convinced the president presides over a sociopathic corruption scheme — so you can see what my cloud looks like! Others may be less interested or engaged than I am, or even in favor of a Trump autocracy — but even the 41% who approve of him live under the endless disruption barging into every day. The last few weeks have been dominated by a huge, instant war and further revelations from the Epstein files about Trump’s sexual relations with young girls. It is overwhelming for us all.

As a result, we seem more unhinged. For instance, the most interesting thing that happened to me yesterday was coming to a complete, inexplicable halt on the onramp to 76 from 676 in downtown Philly. This is where the two-lanes of freeway condense into one. It is always a jam up and frustrated people often do less-than-sane things there. But this was unusual. We must have been stuck for ten minutes (or so it seemed), so some people got out of their cars to see what was the matter, so I did too. It appeared to me that the sportscar had tried to squeeze in and the SUV bumped it to protect its right to the lane. The two drivers were out of their cars and arguing, letting the rest of us sit. Word was, the SUV would not give up his info. They were waiting for the police. The sportscar was convinced to pull over and let us pass, so I got by and did not see what finally happened. But I still wonder, “What are we coming to? Were these guys so angry and distrustful, now so sociopathically tutored, that they, too, were claiming territory and didn’t care what happened to the rest of us?”

Stranger things are likely to happen under the cloud

What do we do to survive this era and help make a change? Here is how this post answers that question: We need to heed the many reminders about how spiritual and psychological health leads to good social change.

Yes, there are loads of strategies for how to resist effectively and how to build the future. But all of them are founded on our inner truth and love. Daniel Hunter says: “Authoritarian power is derived from fear of repression, isolation from each other and exhaustion at the utter chaos. We’re already feeling it. Thus, for us to be of any use in a Trump world, we have to pay grave attention to our inner states, so we don’t perpetuate the autocrat’s goals of fear, isolation, exhaustion or constant disorientation.”

Trump’s second term arrived at a time of great social distrust — much of it amplified by him to gain power and wealth. But he did not generate our distrust. Across the board, society already had a reduced trust in traditional institutions. We distrust the media, medical professionals, experts and politicians – for good reasons, since they are cooperate stooges. But our distrust is deeper than that. We also distrust most local and neighborhood associations and membership groups, like churches, the PTA and all those new protest orgs. Whether from COVID or political polarization, a lot of us have even experienced reduced trust in friends and family. We can’t even trust predictable weather anymore.

You can track the development of our mistrust by noting the popularity of Stranger Things (Netflix 2016) which is about the power of human connection and courage in the face of the unknown and unexplained, and Game of Thrones (2011-19) which is about the struggle for the iron throne and how people who want power will do anything to get it, even in the face of the Great Other. Both juxtapose the normal and the paranormal as key parts of the show’s narrative and thematic structure. And both distill how nothing is what it seems to be — and so can’t be trusted.

The distrust spawned by the billionaire/hedge fund extraction project to break American democracy fueled the engine of autocracy because it makes us much easier to divide. Trump’s tweets/rhetoric encourages it — telling people to distrust immigrants, Democrats, socialists, people from Chicago, women marchers, Mexicans, the press, Iranians, transpeople and so on. It becomes a social disease when people decide if a person is trustworthy on the basis of who they tell us not to trust! I spent a lot of my career as a pastor trying to create systems that provided an alternative to this distrust, but a lot of people did not trust me or the system I led, either. However, I persist.

Here are four basic suggestions for how to develop more inner resistance under the Trump cloud, which is not disappearing any time soon, beginning with regaining some trust for yourself.

Trust yourself

We have been gaslighted so thoroughly, it is very difficult to trust our own decisions, even our own thoughts. A lot of us are perfecting dissociation in a vain attempt to weather the trauma we live in.

Trust-building starts within each of us. We need to trust our own truth and love. If you are following Jesus you can trust His truth and love making you whole. Regardless, this development includes trusting your own eyes and conscience, as well as guarding your heart from the crazy-making. Like Elon Musk determined to break the government with DOGE, breaking your inner resistance to unreality is also part of the domination scheme. (Bernie Sanders recently had a chat with Claude about this). Always remember: YOU MATTER.

Trust building is trusting yourself and also being trustworthy. We should be reliable friends, but all the parts of our inner selves should also be friends. We need to trust that the “I AM” of each of us is going to show up to help us flourish no matter what. We need an inner trust that acknowledges fear and lets that feeling pass through. We need trust that can endure the uncertainty that nags us. We need to let the “cloud” be real so we know a lot of the troubling things we feel are about the cloud, not us.

This trust building will take some time and effort, of course. We’ll need to take care of ourselves if we want the world to change. If you’re tired, take some rest. If you’re scared, make some peace. (Here is a nice list of suggestions for how to stay grounded [link]). A good starting point, for now, is to listen to the voice in you that seems the most trustworthy. Don’t keep checking your phone for validation, check yourself. Don’t keep reading this if you need to take a walk or go find a tree to feel.

Find others who you trust

We have been atomized and isolated so effectively a lot of us don’t even think about trusting people. We are on our own — and that emotional landscape we inhabit, inside and out, makes a big difference.

In The Origins of Totalitarianism, Hannah Arendt explored how destructive ideologies like fascism and autocracy need loneliness to grow. She used the word verlassenheit — often translated as loneliness — as a central ingredient. As she meant it, loneliness isn’t a feeling but a kind of social isolation of the mind. One’s thinking becomes closed off to the world and becomes dominated by a sense of being abandoned.

Arendt was talking about Hitler and Stalin, but she is describing the societal breakdown we’re all experiencing, too. Trump is working on the breakdown every day. The constant attacks on social systems: teachers, health care, civil servants, courts, etc. — make us turn away from leaning on each other and towards ideologically simple answers that increase isolation (e.g. “distrust government,” “MAGA is nuts,” “anyone who votes that way doesn’t care about me”).

We have to consciously bridge that distance. People are finding ways to do that. For instance, in my church, a couple of women started an action group. People who made pods during Covid are still travelling together. Indivisible and Singing Resistance are creating new groups all the time. Most of these little groups, like the one in our church, are lamenting how little we are doing. But our very existence is resistance.

Finding just a few people who you trust to regularly act with and touch base with is central to defeating autocracy. We need to use our mutual trust to explore our own thinking and support each other to stay sharp and grounded.

Grieve

No matter what we try to do, there is going to be loss. So we will need to grieve well to live well. We will need to save our capacity to compartmentalize, rationalize, intellectualize and ignore for things like working in a large corporate structure or sorting out the basement. If we use those capacities to defend against our feelings, grief can damage us body and soul like a Kona storm sitting over Hilo.

If you aren’t a “feelings person,” let me say it this way: The inability to grieve is a strategic error. After Donald Trump won in 2016, we all saw people who never grieved; they just worked harder or avoided harder. They didn’t look into their feelings and the future — and as a result they remained in shock. They are still saying, “I can’t believe he’s doing that.” Believe it. Grieve it.

The alternative to perpetual shock is grieving — quite deliberatively, if necessary. Start by naming and allowing the feelings which arise when you confront the “stranger things:”

Trump left the Paris Climate Agreement and California has a March heatwave.
I daydream about Trump. We all wake up to bat-shit crazy headlines each morning.
Trump builds giant detention center for Markwayne Mullin to oversee. The Pitt has ICE coming into the ER.
Now it is Iran, tomorrow it is Epstein, then maybe the elections will be invalidated.

Making such a list, especially with someone you trust is health-generating. We begin to identify the sadness, anger, numbness, shock, confusion and fear. We grieve. We come out of our daze and experience acceptance. [A Spell for Grief or Letting Go]

Release what you cannot change

We are so trained to believe our individual power is the most important thing in the world all we think we can do is control something or someone. And if you are as realistic as I think you are, you already admitted control is not working well.

During the rise of the Nazis, Reinhold Niebuhr wrote the Serenity Prayer, which AA loves so much:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Trump’s presidency is deliberately making activists, especially, and all of us, feel overwhelmed. There is so much we feel we need to do and it is hard to accept we cannot do it all – at least I feel that way. For instance, this week my interest in plastics was revived in my overall despair about climate change in the middle of an oil war. So I took the hour it took to commit to a way to do my little part. But I also saw how few hours I had. Chaos is a friend of the autocrat. One way we can unwittingly increase that chaos is by jumping into the abyss of needing to do it all.

I cannot say I am completely successful at this, but I use my journal to help me sort out what is the best I can do instead of what is the most I can do — what am I given to do as opposed to what needs to be done. I suggest we all take ourselves seriously enough to get some clarity on what is important these days. If we are just coasting through, we might get run over. If we think we are a semi when we are a Civic, we may burn up the engine. If you are in a small group trying to do something meaningful, like in church, be sure to press for a focus, not just be a committee-full of people-pleasers attempting to be inclusive and just ending up an ineffective potpourri.

It is spiritual and psychological health that will lead to good social change. That means trusting ourselves, sticking with others we trust, grieving well and releasing what we cannot change. It requires at least that much of us. We all know people who think they can sit out this challenging time. I feel with them. But I am still patiently impatient for the goodness of God to be seen and respected and put into action in our warming, war-torn world. Nurture that inner life you’ve been given, the best you — it’s the key to making a difference when we really need something new.

Patrick’s journey through the wilderness, and ours

March 16, 2026A life in the Spirit, Spiritual direction, The MissionCeltic Cross, confession, dreams, drunk, PatrickRod White

I feel like I escaped 2025 only to run into Trump’s War with Iran in 2026, just as the crocus began to bloom. Will these days be full of the moments we remember the rest of our lives? If so, may my grandchildren remember how terrible it was when they look back on their youth from their secure, reimagined future.

When we were walking our neighborhood in the wind yesterday, we ran into about 200 of St. Joseph’s finest having a moment. They were getting drunk in honor of St. Patrick at an elaborately planned backyard party. We heard them from a couple of blocks away. I wonder how they will look back on that day I hope they will be amazed at how God touched them in their ignorance and at least a couple of them might say, “I was numbed that year in response to the war and everything, but God called me out.”

If that happened, it would be much more in the spirit of St. Patrick than getting drunk in his honor and tormenting the rather protective neighbors of Wynnefield who have such pride in their old neighborhood.

Patrick’s confession

There are so many good reasons to honor Patrick, even if you are not Irish. In his shockingly vulnerable autobiography Confession, St. Patrick has some encouragement for everyone who is seeing themselves for who they really are.

12 So I am first of all a simple country person, a refugee, and unlearned. I do not know how to provide for the future. But this I know for certain, that before I was brought low, I was like a stone lying deep in the mud. Then he who is powerful came and in his mercy pulled me out, and lifted me up and placed me on the very top of the wall. That is why I must shout aloud in return to the Lord for such great good deeds of his, here and now and forever, which the human mind cannot measure.

Patrick came from an aristocratic family in Britain before he was kidnapped and enslaved in Ireland. Even before he was that slave he says he was a “stone in the mud.” As it turns out, becoming an ignorant country person, a refugee, was the best thing that ever happened to him. Because it was in that condition, he met God. All over the war-torn world right now, refugee teenagers are becoming brilliant in faith or terror.

He is writing his Confession after he successfully fulfilled his calling to share the Good News of Jesus with the Irish people — he has become the bishop of a burgeoning network of churches! He tells a story about how rivals tried to bring him down by making known a story about some unknown sin he committed when he was a pre-Christian teen. Slander creates permanent wounds. But nothing can undo the joy he finds in being called and empowered to do what he is given to do.

13 So be amazed, all you people great and small who fear God! You well-educated people in authority, listen and examine this carefully. Who was it who called one as foolish as I am from the middle of those who are seen to be wise and experienced in law and powerful in speech and in everything? If I am most looked down upon, yet he inspired me, before others, so that I would faithfully serve the nations with awe and reverence and without blame: the nations to whom the love of Christ brought me. His gift was that I would spend my life, if I were worthy of it, to serving them in truth and with humility to the end.

Nobody writes such things unless they have a moment by moment experience of God’s presence. Patrick honed his relationship out in the hills with the sheep, day and night. I was out honing and being honed on retreat last week, forcing myself to get into the season of Lent. More than ever, we need the self-imposed wilderness of Lent needs to do its work as the bombs go off in Tehran

In the wilderness

As Patrick tells his story I’m encouraged to hear another tale of God calling a person from out of nowhere and providing for them in the worst conditions. Patrick tells of how God spoke to him out in the field about the ship that would carry him from Ireland and his captivity. He manages to get on it after travelling to the other side of the island. Once on shore again, the whole crew ends up in an unpopulated wilderness for 28 days without food until Patrick prays up some pigs. Like Jesus in the wilderness, he feels tested and cared for.

If he were a client of mine, the following story would be an interesting description the anxiety he carried born of all the trauma he had experienced — stolen from his parents, enslaved, and now lost in the wilderness with people he barely knows in a place he has never been. How many college students feel like that? How many people reading right now?

20 That same night while I was sleeping, Satan strongly put me to the test – I will remember it as long as I live! It was as if an enormous rock fell on me, and I lost all power in my limbs. Although I knew little about the life of the spirit at the time, how was it that I knew to call upon Helias? While these things were happening, I saw the sun rise in the sky, and while I was calling “Helias! Helias!” with all my strength, the splendour of the sun fell on me; and immediately, all that weight was lifted from me. I believe that I was helped by Christ the Lord, and that his spirit cried out for me. I trust that it will be like this whenever I am under stress, as the gospel says: “In that day, the Lord testifies, it will not be you will speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.”

It seems to me that paragraph sums up his life very well. You may have had a similar dream sometime. A doctor says, “A dream featuring heavy pressure on the chest, often accompanied by an inability to move, is typically a symptom of sleep paralysis. This occurs when the brain wakes from REM sleep while the body remains sleep-paralyzed, often creating hallucinations of a suffocating presence or ‘weight’ on the chest. It is generally harmless but terrifying.” Anxiety and stress can trigger these episodes as well as sleep deprivation. The researchers will give you ways to prevent it. Your spiritual director might help you listen to it.

How Patrick responds to his dream , for some reason he does not know — except to attribute it to grace, is to call on the sun. If you were Greek, you might name your son “Helias,” which is like a personal name for the helios. He called out, “Helias, come help me.” And the sun brightened and warmed his paralyzed body and terrified soul. Maybe that experience is one of the reasons, Patrick installed a sun at the center of the cross, so the Irish could feel the light like he did.

In honor of Patrick, in defiance of the fascists, it might feel like sunrise in your soul to take his story seriously, as if you still mean something, too. It would be refreshing to follow Patrick’s example, even bearing the wounds of your past, even carrying the memories of your youthful sins and your feelings of anxiety — or the exhaustion of resisting feeling any anxiety in these terrible times, and not just get drunk. March 17 is the day we remember him.

You might read the Confessions. My son and I made a post at our site where you can learn all about Patrick.

You could listen to a dream. Here is a means to do that if you need one.

You could remember your youth, examine your wounds and let yourself be warmed in the sunlight of God’s forgiveness and endless love for you.

You could consider what it is you are given to do in this challenging era. Stones in the mud are undoubtedly being plucked out right now and installed atop some wall, large or small. Patrick never forgot the absurdity of being the unlettered slave boy called to free his captors and those enslaved to their God-free ways. We just don’t know what God is going to do with us in our wilderness, either, do we?

Pray for Christians to stop falling for fascism

March 9, 2026A life in the Spirit, Spiritual direction, The Missionalternativity, Epstein class, fascism, human rights, Jesus, Matthew Cooke, Peter Thiel, resistance, TrumpRod White

Pieter Brueghel the Younger — The Request of the Mother of the Sons of Zebedee c.1620

Fascism is modern word for the oldest con in the book. Even the mother of the Sons of Thunder fell for it.

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came to him with her sons, and kneeling before him, she asked a favor of him. And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Declare that these two sons of mine will sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.” …

When the ten heard it, they were angry with the two brothers. But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. It will not be so among you, but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave, just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and to give his life a ransom for many.” — Matthew 20:20ff

The only imagination she had was that her promising sons would be at the top of Jesus’ pyramid with him. Jesus immediately turned her pyramid upside down and asked her sons if they knew what they were talking about.

Misguided Christians have been turning the Lord’s pyramid upside down ever since. Even back in early times, most of the church was actually delighted to have the Roman emperor, Constantine, take leadership! Millions have submitted to an irrefutable King Pope (or Mormon Prophet), or they have set up their big-box church pastor as Lord. It is no surprise, but it is a crying shame so many so-called Christians embrace strong-man Trump. He’s one of the greatest con artists in history, even though his lies are transparent. Nevertheless, they fall for the fascism.

Trump and many like-impaired leaders around the world: Putin, Erdogan, Orban, Xi and most of the members of Trump’s Board of Peace, are just the latest versions operating the old con. It is as old as those very first Priest-Kings, who claimed ownership over all the land and people, conscripting soldiers for enforcement, engaging a merchant class for management, and carving a deity in their image to justify it.

Basic fascism

Matthew Cooke says: “Fascists are not some fringe, backwoods cult. Let’s just go over their character traits again:

military-worshiping separatists
inflated by a glorious imaginary history
humiliated by a persecution complex
slammed by trillions of dollars of propaganda promising we can only reclaim our standing in the world if we devote our lives to maintaining a pyramid scheme run by an Epstein-class.

That does not describe just one half of congress.” It describes our entire political and economic framework. It is the framework in which we are all living.

The Parable of the Rich Fool by Rembrandt, 1627.

Jesus so clearly says goals based on greed and a lust for control over the future are for fools:

And he said to them, “Take care! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of possessions.” Then he told them a parable: “The land of a rich man produced abundantly. And he thought to himself, ‘What should I do, for I have no place to store my crops?’ Then he said, ‘I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.’ But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life is being demanded of you. And the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ So it is with those who store up treasures for themselves but are not rich toward God.” — Luke 12:15-21

Why do even our Christian reformers think they can change the system by redecorating the control room? America needs to repent in a lot of ways, but that does not merely mean electing a Democrat! “Repent” means “change your mind,” but it also means change your direction; it means respond to your new understanding by changing your allegiance. Most Americans are working to feed a machine that produces only one fruit. We eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and it’s not just rotten to the core, it’s poison. The fruit of the bad tree is so evident, it is hard to know where to start pointing that out.

But just think about what it means to level Gaza and bomb Iran while calling yourselves the people of God! Even more, think about who secretly profits off the carnage and the carnage-making capabilities these wars foist on the world. And think about this tax season: 20-25% of working folks’ gross income will go to Trump sending $20 billion to Argentina!! The estimated cost of the Iran build-up and first attack on Iran was $630 million, by Wednesday the cost was $1 billion, and now they are over a week into it at a billion dollars a day!

The antidote to the poison

The political antidote to this poison is basic human rights for all. Or, as Jesus said when one of the scribes asked him,

“Which commandment is the first of all?” Jesus answered, “The first is, ‘Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” — Mark 12:28-31

Love is the antidote. Again, Matthew Cooke says: “If we allow anyone, any political structure, to pretend one group of people are better than another, and condition rights for any reason: political beliefs, religion, ethnicity, citizenship, we reduce rights to permits that are revocable by the state at the discretion of whoever happens to be in office.”

The revocation machinery is in place and it is being used right now. It might not be you it’s being used on, but it will get to you. And you may already be afraid of it getting to you, which means they might not even have to directly threaten you to control you. “This is how fascism operates. It doesn’t necessarily abolish universal dignities right away. It conditions them — on obedience to the machine.” That’s how the Nazis did it and that’s how the Trump regime and the 1% and their corporations are doing it.

Fascism has been called the final form of capitalism.

Fascism is the logical culmination of the American economic system, if capitalism means giving those with the traits required to amass the most wealth and power the keys to every market and the strings to every political puppet. Benito Mussolini of Italy built an entire political system on this fusion of business and state power in the 1930’s, and gave it the modern name “fascism.” This model for a society exists in total opposition to every great teaching since the dawn of time, from Plato to Confucius, from indigenous wisdom on every continent to all three religious branches that harken back to Abraham.

One last time for Cooke: Fascism “can only occur because law enforcement has been allowed to hunt people, kidnap them, and force them into labor and concentration camps ever since our founding fathers invented a myth-of-a-pure-people just for us 250 years ago. Human rights have always been conditional here, revocable by the state.

The antidote to the poison of fascism, of ethno-nationalism, of this violence and priest-king worshipping cult – also melts the pyramid to the ground — and the billionaires, and the Epstein class along with it” (looking at you Peter Thiel). It starts with this first principle: there must be universal human rights for all the citizens of planet Earth. Regardless of which part of what continent they were born on or what word they use for the One unfathomable reality that must precede all beginnings and endings, the One closer than the innermost and further outside all that can be seen and not seen.

Basic resistance

At some point, we’ve got to stop paying for and then just redecorating our staterooms on the Titanic. We’ve got to change our minds about where we live and adopt an alternative story about how life is to be lived. We need to following basic, Sermon on the Mount teaching, now that it really matters:

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal, but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

The eye is the lamp of the body. So if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If, then, the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

No one can serve two masters, for a slave will either hate the one and love the other or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth. — Matthew 6:19-24

Following means shining the light strategically, assertively and persistently and forming an alternative.

The Epstein class does not maintain power because it is stronger. It has always been vastly outnumbered. It maintains power because it has mastered how to coordinate us and we haven’t. The surveillance state, the corporate control over all our markets, a false church under a false idol, and its armies of secret police are all coordination technologies. They allow a small group to act as one, while keeping the majority of us divided, fearful, and fighting each other instead of the fascist system. That is the system which is going to get back 20-25% of the wages it deigned to give us in order to provide “greatness” and “freedom.” For one thing, are you getting what you supposedly paid for? Is greatness Trump demolishing the White House illegally and putting up a cheap-looking but not cheap ballroom? More importantly, would Jesus “buy in” to the system? Can you imagine him lining up to pay for ICE?

Fascism rewards obedience. It punishes community cooperation. It uses racism, nationalism, colors like red vs. blue — when it’s never been left vs. right, it’s always been up vs. down. But as long as the neighbor, the foreigner, the other is the enemy, the system is safe.

Every coordination trap has a breaking point.

Repentance matters. The moment enough people defect from the dominant strategy, the calculus shifts for everybody. Suddenly, obedience is no longer the safe move, and cooperation is. We’re already seeing it happening. A narrative shift is taking root. Minneapolis helped it form a lot more. A new story is one weapon nobody can defeat. A new story can bring an empire to its knees in months. That’s why the Ellisons bought Paramount Global in 2025 — CBS, MTV, Nickelodeon, and Paramount Pictures, and that’s why they are closing a deal Warner Bros. Discovery right now – including HBO and CNN. They want story control, better coordination. Fortunately, we have new names for these plutocrats: the Epstein class, the Trump crime family, the billionaires/oligarchs. We are on to something new.

We can pull down the strongholds with a new-for-some-but-old-for-Jesus-followers story and three organizing tools. There are successful ways people have used to undermine authoritarian regimes.

Labor withdraws cooperation. That includes mass strikes. (probably led by organized labor).
Civil disobedience makes the cost of enforcement unsustainable. (probably led by the church, which should be innately disobedient to sociopaths, anyway).
We starve the system of the capital it needs. That means boycotts of some kind (people are making lists for us).

Fortunately, we don’t necessarily need a majority of the country to cause the change we all need. A Harvard study found that when 3.5% of a population engages in sustained disruptive action, toppling of fascist regimes is possible (Chenoweth and Stephan, 2011). So when we get engaged, we are not just being idealistic, we are doing math. History suggests that the breaking-point moment is always much closer than the latest Epstein-like crime syndicate wants us to believe.

What is the cost if we do not take action?

If we do not take action we lose everything we need and want from our society: our rights, our dignity, our water, our glaciers, our food, our safety, our taxes, our connection to our whole human family, our capacity to freely care for others, our freedom to use our gifts to create and serve as God leads us. The cost of not taking action now is the loss of the future for our children. Given the technologies we depend on, we cannot survive without cooperation — not the cooperation of the ruling classes, but cooperation between the people of the world, our hub cities linked in a mutually-benefiting web. Our children are counting on us.

Truly, if we do not take action, we endanger our souls. If Christians are in the forefront in these efforts by the example of their way of life and their courageous truth-telling and resistance, they will answer the Lord’s prayer as he prepared for the cross:

I have said this to you so that in me you may have peace. In the world you face persecution, but take courage: I have conquered the world!”

After Jesus had spoken these words, he looked up to heaven and said, “Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son so that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all people, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him….

All mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I have been glorified in them. And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one. — John 16:33, 17:1-2, 10-11.

You don’t know how much you need to trust God until you need to.

March 2, 2026A life in the Spirit, Building community, Film/TV, Spiritual directionangel, cat, desperate, Its A Wonderful Life, Liam Arias, trustRod White

We endured the 20+ hours it took to get home from our wonderful trip. Then we walked in the door. A big fat snow storm. A frozen pipe oozing water down the back wall and creating nasty ice sculpture. An innovative toilet not functioning and bilge puddling from between the basement tiles. Trash and mail piled up. And, of course, there was the love-starved cat.

Once we returned, the cat stuck to us like glue all night and day. So I thought she was sticking when I took out the trash. But she darted out the door and into the frigid night and falling snow unbeknownst to me. I suppose I was less careful since, “What cat would go out in a blizzard?” We were cuddled up in our blankets for a long time until we noticed there was no longer a cat on top of us.

I guess you don’t know how much you need to trust God until you need to. We were beside ourselves. We love the cat almost as much as she loves us. We looked through every nook and cranny of our new, little house and could not find her. She had fooled us before, so we waited for her to appear from out of nowhere. Then we looked outside. Then we tried to go to sleep and wait for her to come out. I said, “We’ll just have to give her to God.” I admit I was not completely satisfied with that prayer. But where else can you go when you have nowhere else to go?

The angel

I tried to go to sleep but it did not work out. So I got up to do some more post-trip sorting out. About 2am, while I was typing, I heard someone shout at me from our back alley, which had never happened before. It looked like our neighbor, so I went out in the falling snow in my robe. “I’m looking for your cat,” he said. I had texted his roommate and everyone else in range, to sound the alarm. He went on to say, “I’m kind of the neighborhood ‘cat shepherd’ and I don’t want to lose another one.”

So we all started looking as the snow poured down – all around our block, under cars, behind bushes. Nothing. I went back to our porch to start over for the umpteenth time and I heard a cat. It was ours. She was settled into a cat shelter the neighbor had made out of a storage container. He was overjoyed and began to cry and admitted he was a little drunk.

So when I gave the cat to God, did that result in the arrival of a drunk angel to connect me with my beloved? My answer is “Yes.” You decide for yourself. You decide if it was right for me to feel like I was George on the bridge meeting the semi-competent Clarence in It’s a Wonderful Life.

Angels in any condition are needed

The whole experience made me think we’d all better become adept at turning to God when we are desperate. Troubling times keep troubling up, after all.

A woman in Northeast Philly captured the moment on her security camera when she was walking her dog and her neighbor unwittingly unleashed three pit bulls from his house. They attacked her dog and bit her mercilessly. I don’t know whether she called Top Dog to save her (link in case you don’t live in Philly). But even if she did, she’ll need deeper healing and help than any lawyer can provide.

When Liam Arias and his father, Adrian were whisked out of Minnesota and locked up in Dilly, Texas, all sorts of angels appeared. Representative Juan Castro personally escorted them home when a judge ruled against the “perfidious” power-grabbing ICE keeps acting out. Having met a few refugees, I can tell you they have to trust God because they have so little hope.

Every day in this terrible time the cat is out in the snow, the dogs are out of their cages and armed men might appear in the neighborhood without a moment’s notice. Most of us are desperate enough to ask for help. Let’s start there with trust, not just end up there when there is nowhere else to go.

You may not believe God will help you or believe God is with you even if there is no hope for you. But it is still true: Jesus will be there and is there. Before I was even able to wonder why I was doing it, my Sunday school teacher got me to memorize how Jesus said, “Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the age.” I did not get the “Lo” or the “end of the age” or even “unto.” But I somehow understood “I am with you always.” And I have never forgotten.

I admit I often think I am responsible or to blame for a lot of the bad things that happen to me and I get frustrated because I don’t know how I am going to fix the war in Ukraine. But when I am afraid my loving cat is going to freeze to death, my thoughts naturally turn to God. And there God was in my drunk neighbor. I’ll concede that actual angels may have been helping too. But until Gabriel, or whoever, appears to me, I’ll take an angelic human or whatever goodness God shares with me next. I think we all have some angel in us. We should be quite useful to each other in desperate times.

MCC lessons: They are more useful than ever

January 19, 2026Life as the church, The MissionColombia, El Salvador, Honduras, MCC, PalestineRod White

MCC – the Mennonite Central Committee, has made a profound difference in my life as it keeps making a profound difference in the world. It is to the everlasting glory of the Brethren in Christ and different branches of the Mennonites that they combined resources in 1920 to form a relief, development and advocacy mission, so their small, Anabaptist part of the church could express the grace they received.

They continue to back up their convictions with their money and efforts and provide the world with an outsized witness of Jesus. There are only about 700,000 Mennonites in the U.S. and Canada and about 25,000 people affiliated with the BIC. That’s a lot of people (about the size of Oklahoma City!) — but it is not a lot to supply work in the 40 countries around the world where MCC represents us! They have so much love and commitment!

Not too long ago some dinner companions got my wife and me talking about the many immersion experiences and other trips around the world that showed us Christianity with a broader, love-in-action lens. I decided to summarize what I have written about them in this page.

When the evening was over, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for what MCC has done for the world and done for me. The blessing of seeing the work firsthand and the people it impacts stays with me and informs my faith. Having my American, Empire-fueled temptations highlighted has been lifesaving, as well.

I have a lot of stories. But I offer you three to illustrate why I am grateful.

1990 — El Salvador, Honduras

I remember being inspected by 18-year-olds with machine guns when they unloaded our bus, and being served dinner from the refugee rations of my hosts. It is hard to say what was the most eye-opening experience in El Salvador and Honduras. Maybe it was the moment we realized that the cost of one mobile medical unit designed to save the lives of American soldiers should they get into conflict could fund all the the medical outposts in Honduras, like ones we visited and funded, for a decade! The state-of-the art units waited, fully-loaded, on the base, ready to be helicoptered into some remote area someday while the citizens had nothing every day. Day after day of similar facts overwhelmed me with reality. When we did our debrief in Tegucigalpa, my story was about thinking I was going to Central America to solve problems and shine light. I burst into tears. I did not have any answers, and I came from a dark place that was the problem.

Jon Sobrino said he would never go to the U.S. again, it was too dangerous to his soul. I felt I needed to stay, ultimately, since light was needed in the belly of the beast. My parents were Goldwater Republicans. I voted for Nixon. So I can relate to how hard it is to let go of the myth of America and stop worshipping Trump these days. Francis of Assisi taught me to let go. But I think the Salvadorans may have sealed the deal on fighting back. Like Paul told the Corinthians, we don’t fight with the weapons of the world. Our weapons have an eternity of love and power behind them that demolishes strongholds, even if you are poor and powerless. The American Embassy in San Salvador was an embarrassing, but indicative, bunker. Can you imagine?! There are Christians in the U.S. who are sure Trump must build a wall to make America a stronghold!

2001 — Colombia

I remember being taught to dance in the moonlight and having the worst case of food poisoning in my life. But maybe I remember the desperate face of a farmer’s wife in Cali most of all. Her family had come to the city from Putumayo where the U.S. “Plan Colombia” had sprayed their farm and killed all their crops instead of coca. This is the same initiative the State Dept. official we met was embarrassed to tell us about. The farm woman told us, with some hysteria in her voice, like this was her big chance, “Go back and tell your government to stop the spraying. You are killing us.” She wept. I told the government, but they did not stop. It was hard to even get an ear to tell my story. Even though the U.S. spent 1 billion dollars in 2000-2001 for helicopters, personnel and glysophate, most people I encountered in the U.S. barely knew where Colombia was.

For the U.S. war is a tool of social change (now in Minneapolis!). So much investment in armaments has made the 1% our irrational overlords. The One Big Beautiful Bill allocated more than $170 billion over four years for border and interior enforcement, with a stated goal of deporting 1 million immigrants each year. That is more than the yearly budget for all local and state law enforcement agencies combined across the entire United States! I am no more than a Putumayo farmwoman in the face of that. But it will always be true that God has chosen the weak to shame the strong. Great love lived out in community is the hope for the world.

2011 — Palestine

I remember a sliver moon and an evening star over the Sea of Galilee and the ruins of bulldozed Palestinian villages refusing to stay buried under Canada Park near Jerusalem. My first hotel in Bethlehem had the 30 foot wall for its picket fence. But being in Capernaum, floating in the Dead Sea was priceless. Yet maybe the most enduring memory is standing in the shade at At-Tuwani and learning how Israeli apartheid works. How your house might be torn down for the least bureaucratic apostrophe. How settlers came and killed sheep with impunity and the government bulldozed irreplaceable olive groves. How Israel cordons off all the water. It is hard to know it until you see it.

“Progress.” Nationalism. Racism and now fascism in Israel. More than ever, I do not put my trust in chariots and horses. More than ever, like the Palestinians taught me, existence is resistance. Living your life and not playing dead (so you will survive, though as good as dead) is how the true faith has always spread.

I am grateful for the lessons MCC taught me about being a transnational Christian, subject to the law of love and convicted to see Jesus in the face of every human. The troubled places where MCC has done many wonders are are being regenerated in U.S. backyards, right now. Thank God we have people, like those serving with MCC, who prepare us to love and serve and hope so well. More wonders are required.

The prophets echoed like memories of angels:

When tyrants tremble in their fear
And hear their death knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near
How can I keep from singing?

In prison cell and dungeon vile
Our thoughts to them are winging,
When friends by shame are undefiled
How can I keep from singing?

“Pauline T” in 1868 (Civil War) and Pete Seeger in 1978 (Vietnam War)

Jesus was born again in the year 2025,
a time when the jester, Pete Hegseth,
sent drones to kill the unsuspecting,
smugglers and fishermen on the open sea,
like Herod searching Bethlehem.
No drugs were found.

The prophets echoed like magi in the night:

Herod the king, in his raging
Chargèd he hath this day
His men of might in his own sight
All young children to slay

That woe is me, poor child, for thee
And ever mourn and may
For thy parting neither say nor sing
“Bye bye, lully, lullay.”

Robert Croo (ed.) in 1534 from 1456 (War of the Roses)

Jesus was born again in the year 2025
when Old King Donald faked emergencies
and Congress sat on their wall, never
to stop him “Stop Him!” and his illegal tariffs,
and his slicing the world into spheres.
His mania spiked.

The prophets echoed like shepherds telling the news:

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king
Do you know what I know?
In your palace warm, mighty king
Do you know what I know?
A Child, a Child shivers in the cold
Let us bring him silver and gold

Said the king to the people everywhere
Listen to what I say!
Pray for peace, people, everywhere
Listen to what I say!
The Child, the Child sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light

Gloria Shayne Baker in 1962 (Cuban Missile Crisis)

Jesus was born again in the year 2025
When King Donald and his minions
vainly tried to stop the tale of Epstein
from being told across the land.
He protected pedophiles.
He pardoned felons.
He profited billionaires,
and called it hope for the poor.
No one believed him.

The prophets echoed like John the Baptist preparing the way:

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother,
and in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
let all within us praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!

Placide Cappeau in 1847 (2^nd French Revolution)

Jesus was born again in the year 2025
when King Donald begged for a peace prize
and an arch to validate his vapid life,
and placed his name on someone else’s memorial
prophetically putting himself
in the grave.

The prophets echoed like a memory of Mary’s great song,
like the worms that ate Herod cried out for lack of enough voices:

But with the woes of sin and strife
The world has suffered long;
Beneath the angel-strain have rolled
Two thousand years of wrong;
And man, at war with man, hears not
The love-song which they bring; –
Oh hush the noise, ye men of strife,
And hear the angels sing!

Edmund Sears in 1849 (Fugitive Slave Act)

Henry Ossawa Tanner, Angels Appearing before the Shepherds, c. 1910

Jesus was born again in the year 2025:
born in us who hear the angels sing,
born in us worn down with woe,
born in us subject to sociopaths,
born in us bound by bloated oligarchs,
born in us who amplify your voice,
louder every day, as the dawn rises
and the Son shines through the veil,
the Light of our restoration.

The prophets cry out with the prophets of old
and with all who relay the music of your sphere:

The original final verses:

VII
Come, Desire of Nations, come,
Fix in Us thy humble Home,
Rise, the Woman’s Conqu’ring Seed,
Bruise in Us the Serpent’s Head,

VIII
Now display the saving Pow’r,
Ruin’d Nature now restore,
Now in Mystic Union join
Thine to Ours, and Ours to Thine.

IX
Adam’s Likeness, Lord, efface,
Stamp thy Image in its Place,
Second Adam from above,
Reinstate us in Thy Love.

X
Let us Thee, tho’ lost, regain,
Thee, the Life, the Inner Man:
O! to All Thyself impart,
Form’d in each Believing Heart.

Charles Wesley in 1739 (War of Austrian Succession)

We’re letting gambling wreck sports?

December 15, 2025A life in the Spirit, Doing Theologydesire, Draft Kings, FanDuel, gambling, Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act, scam, sports betting, thrillRod White

One of my friends said last Monday, “Did you notice I am not wearing green?”

I said, “No.” I honestly had not noticed anything he was wearing.

“This is the first game day in 20 years I have not worn our colors. I’m not even going to watch.”

“Huh?”

“It’s the gambling. I just can’t be sure that anything about the game it true anymore. People are betting on players and even plays. There are just too many good reasons to cheat. I’m done.”

I felt clueless. I thought sports betting was out of control. But I already hated gambling because my mom and dad lived out their retirement near Las Vegas. I can feel Vegas suck the life out of me when I am just passing through. But I have become accustomed to zoning out during the new betting commercials. I know they are over when I hear “Please play responsibly” or “Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER.” In Australia they are getting strict about all sorts of life-sucking “games,” so their tag line is “Chances are you’re about to lose”.

Gambling Stats

I decided to do some research about what is really happening and found out quite a bit I did not know.

The Americans Gaming Association reports that Americans have embraced gambling (they say “gaming”). More than half of all American adults (57%) participated in some form of gambling in 2024-5. 30% gambled at a physical casino, while 21% placed a sports bet. It is a boom time for “gaming.” 90% of Americans find casino gambling to be acceptable for themselves or others, and 62% now find gambling to be personally acceptable.  134 million American adults, or 53% of the population, visited a casino for gambling or other entertainment purposes in the past 12 months, the highest level of casino visitation on record. Legal Sports Reports gives you more.

In February, a Siena Poll found that by 50% to 34% Americans support online sports betting being legal in all 50 States. But 65% think it will create compulsive gamblers. 58% say the Federal Govt. should regulate to protect consumers. 63% support the SAFE BET Act. 52% have “chased” a bet (meaning they placed additional, often larger, bets in an attempt to recover money lost from earlier wagers). 37% were ashamed after losing. 20% lost money they couldn’t afford to lose. 34% know someone with an online sports betting problem. Only 9% ever sought help with problem gambling — as SNL said a year ago, that’s because it is “somebody else’s” problem.

A majority of people in the U.S.A. are apparently going with a culture laced with gambling. But, like my friend, some people are getting concerned. For instance, 500 sports gamblers were polled in November in Connecticut; the majority believe corruption is more widespread than just the recent NBA scandal and think advertising for sports gambling leads to incredibly risky betting behavior, or even addiction. A New Yorker article from October noted how the “prop” bet leads to disaster (that is, a bet on a specific occurrence or statistical outcome within a game that does not necessarily affect the game’s final score or margin of victory). This YouTube from Bloomberg lays out the dangers. Trump’s posthumous pardon of Pete Rose for betting on baseball shows how gambling is even reaching into the past to become normalized.

What do Christians say?

Christianity Today kinds of hems and haws since the Bible does not directly name gambling as a sin. They say, “Online gambling isn’t necessarily sinful, but it’s certainly not a careful use of the wealth God has given us.”

Conservative Christians in the UK say: “There are three legitimate ways in which wealth may change hands – by giving, by working for it, or by genuine exchange (including taxation): anything else is virtual theft and so a breaking of the 8th commandment.” As has been said: “Gambling is a kind of robbery by mutual agreement; but it is still robbery, just as dueling, which is murder by mutual agreement, is still treated as murder.” Of the three impulses behind gambling – the desire for gain, the desire for a thrill and the desire for competition, the moral and ethical problems are focused on the desire for gain.

Gambling directly appeals to covetousness and greed “which is idolatry” according to the Apostle Paul (Colossians 3:5). Gambling breaches the 1st, 2nd, 8th and 10th commandments. It enthrones personal desires in place of God. Jesus warned: “you cannot serve both God and Money” (Matthew 6:24). A greedy and unrepentant person is an idolater who cannot obtain salvation (Ephesians 5:5).
Gambling directly depends on other people incurring financial loss. Jesus said that you should “do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12). But gambling depends on doing to others what we would not have them do to us.

Conservative U.S. Evangelicals in the Gospel Coalition say: Sports betting perpetuates the sins of idolatry, greed, and dissatisfaction with God’s provision. It feeds on vices rather than virtues and godliness. It’s highly addictive. With the ease and convenience of a smartphone app and a credit card, sports betting has become yet another dopamine-inducing “scrolling” activity alongside social media platforms, online pornography, and other addictions just a few clicks away. As a vice disproportionately targeting young men, sports betting has the potential to imperil their current and future ability to love and lead families because of devastating debt. Sports betting is another assault on families already besieged by a litany of negative cultural pressures and obstacles….Don’t be fooled by how destigmatized sports betting has become. Just because you can now do it on your phone from the comfort of your suburban living room, as opposed to in the dimly lit, smoky Vegas casino, doesn’t mean the dangers are less real. The less seedy, more acceptable “brand” of sports betting today is what makes it so concerning.

The Southern Baptists are alarmed: “Gambling factors out God.” The 2017 SBC Resolutions Committee, proposed a resolution adopted by the Convention “on the sin of gambling.” Also, the SBC Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission released a publication called Pay to Play: A Practical Guide to Addressing Gambling in the Church. The director says, “We worked hard to produce a theological and practical guide—in addition to an in-depth white paper—that we think will be helpful to pastors as they navigate this growing epidemic.”

Meanwhile, gambling advertising becomes more entertaining, ubiquitous and brazen. For instance, into what are these happy, robotic, multicultural lemmings/bike riders being translated?:

Why is nothing done?

My friend said, “This is a big mess. It has ruined sports for me. Why isn’t anything being done?”

I hadn’t thought about that, so I asked A.I. Here is the gist of what that know-it-all collected with my gist thrown in.

“Sports betting has not been banned despite its negative effects primarily due to the significant economic benefits for states and the argument that regulation is more effective than prohibition. The complex issue involves a balance of individual freedoms, economic incentives, and social concerns.”

That’s the bottom line. You have to wonder why the government of the people sees the vices of the people as a way to stay in business. I think there is something immoral about that business model, don’t you?

Americans apparently love gambling. It all got started with the lotteries. To be honest the ancient Chinese had a lottery that helped build the Great Wall. But as far as the U.S. goes, the first legal lottery was started by New Hampshire in 1964.

When the Supreme Court overturned Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act (PASPA) with Murphy v. NCAA in 2018, it served to open the floodgates for all forms of gambling. The ruling stemmed from a legal challenge initiated by the state of New Jersey, led at the time by Governor Chris Christie. New Jersey argued that the PASPA violated the Tenth Amendment’s anti-commandeering doctrine, which prevents the federal government from forcing states to enforce federal laws or maintain existing state laws.

In the 6-3 majority opinion, Justice Samuel Alito wrote that “Congress can regulate sports gambling directly, but if it elects not to do so, each State is free to act on its own”. The Court said the PASPA unconstitutionally dictated what state legislatures could and could not do, thus infringing on state sovereignty. Justice Breyer said he would have preferred New Jersey get a “pyrrhic victory”— winning the right to authorize betting but still being barred from having private businesses run it, in order to respect Congress’s broader goals.

Now there is a multi-billion industry to contend with since many states (though not all, including California) rushed to legalize gambling and reap the revenue. I call it creating a “fool tax,” to be honest, or receiving an invitation to ruin from your governor.

Key reasons why nothing has been done to ban sports betting include:

It is a big money maker for States. Legal sports betting generates billions in tax revenue for state governments, which can be allocated to public services like education and infrastructure. This financial incentive makes it difficult for states to roll back legalization efforts. New York, for example, collected over $876 million in tax revenue from sports betting in 2023. This is probably the main reason sports betting is running rampant: the governments are addicted.
Our governments are dominated by rapacious corporations. The sports betting industry, with major players like FanDuel and DraftKings, has a powerful lobbying presence and has deeply integrated itself into sports media and culture through advertising and sponsorships, making it an “indispensable” part of the sporting experience. This is the second big reason. Our pirate capitalism sees a victim, milks them dry and leaves the carcass.

The rest of the main reasons are more speculative and moral. These reasons change if people we more educated, healthier and less subject to corporate domination.

Prohibition does not work very well. The historical failure of attempts to ban popular, but potentially harmful, activities (like alcohol during Prohibition or the War on Drugs) suggests that an overarching ban would not eliminate sports betting but merely drive it into an unregulated, illegal black market. $150B was illegally gambled on college sports, alone, in 2018, before the Supreme Court decision. The American Gaming Association (AGA) argues legal markets bring consumers out of predatory illegal operations and provide transparency and consumer protections. It remains to be proven that legal markets are less predatory or more transparent.
Regulation is seen as a better approach. Instead of a full ban, the prevailing approach in the U.S. has been state-level regulation following the Supreme Court’s 2018 decision to overturn the federal ban. This allows states to implement consumer protections and allocate funds for problem gambling treatment and research. Critics justly argue such measures are often inadequate. By the time the corporations have brainwashed the public, warnings by governments seem faint, at best. Public health of any kind is poorly funded.
Americans think you should have the right to harm yourself. Proponents of legal sports betting argue that adults should have the freedom to choose how to spend their money and time, provided they do so responsibly. “Responsible gambling” is an oxymoron to many Christians. But such reasoning prevails when it comes to gun control, cannabis, and, apparently, murdering Venezuelans. The saying, “I’d rather ask for forgiveness than permission” is becoming common sense.
The people want it. There is a significant public appetite for sports betting, with millions of Americans participating in the activity. Legalization acknowledges and caters to this demand. But “want” in the U.S. is determined by what consumers buy in the economy as designed by the dominant corporations. They have also wanted processed food, gas guzzlers and McMansions, to name a few products that were not in society’s or their own best interests. We psychotherapists would generally contend that people “want” a lot of things for reasons they do not fully understand and often do not want when they do.

I think gambling preys upon desire and calls it a “game.” It is only fun when it does not include money. When it is a for-profit enterprise, gambling is always a scam — I’m with the Australians, “You are about to lose.” It is a “thrill” when it is risky, but satisfying that desire usually just leads to needing more thrill to avoid dealing with one’s true needs or desires.

The fact that this deregulation is happening when most of the betting is happening on a phone app makes gambling even more damning. The internet feeds on desire. Digital platforms thrive by exploiting human wants—for connection, information, status, or novelty—using algorithms to trigger dopamine hits, creating endless loops of seeking, consuming, and craving that drive engagement, problematic use, and consumerism, turning desires into constant, often unfulfillable, digital appetites. The online world capitalizes on our innate needs, turning them into addictive patterns through self-presentation, fear of missing out (FoMO), and hyper-stimulation, shaping our search for fulfillment in ways that benefit platforms more than users.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9 KJV). This applies to the CEOs of gambling corporations and the government officials who enable them. It applies to the inherent corruption of the end users and the self-deception capabilities within human nature. Our desires and motivations are often untrustworthy and self-destructive. We need God in the middle of our gambling and a society that looks out for our hearts and health, not just our consumption habits.

**************************

Yesterday was Catherine Doherty Day! Get to know the “Baroness” who became an anti-racism activist and spiritual director. She was Thomas Merton’s spiritual mother. She is celebrated at The Transhistorical Body.

Autonomy

Performance

Measurement

Self-control

Permission

Promises

Obedience

In Christ

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Wow! Just like Amos!

Jesus is prophecy in action

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Stranger things are likely to happen under the cloud

Trust yourself

Find others who you trust

Grieve

Release what you cannot change

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Patrick’s confession

In the wilderness

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Basic fascism

The antidote to the poison

Fascism has been called the final form of capitalism.

Basic resistance

Every coordination trap has a breaking point.

What is the cost if we do not take action?

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The angel

Angels in any condition are needed

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1990 — El Salvador, Honduras

2001 — Colombia

2011 — Palestine

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Top 10 Posts for 2025

1. No Kings on June 14: Biblical reasons to be on the street (Jun 9)

2. Is a sociopath training you for evil?: 8 ways to spot one and survive them (May 12)

3. Trump’s admin is a replay of Belshazzar’s feast of the billionaires (Mar 3)

4. Say “No” now: It won’t get better (Apr 7)

5. Understanding and responding to a “sociopath” (Oct. 27)

6. Can we listen to the Truth in Trumpland? We are so easily deceived! (Feb 17)

7. Recognizing DARVO is the first step to freedom: 5 practical responses (Aug 25)

8. Your conscience is in danger: The Bible can help (Oct 20)

9. Am I doing enough about Donald Trump? (Jul 28)

10. Your small group in the church: Key to thriving? (Aug 11)

Top Ten from previous years.

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Gambling Stats

What do Christians say?

Why is nothing done?

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